


Toby is real

by Moonmares



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angel Toby Smith | Tubbo, Angst, Dead Toby Smith | Tubbo, Depressed Floris | Fundy, Depression, Freezing, Gen, Guardian Angels, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Terminal Illnesses, lastminute rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27785932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonmares/pseuds/Moonmares
Summary: CW: Suicide, suicidal thoughts, terminal illnesses, hospitals, freezing to death - Please read at your own risk!In an alternative version of our universe, there seems to be no way out of the darkness and cold for Fundy/Floris.In the last possible second, unexpected help comes to the rescue - but does it?
Kudos: 32





	Toby is real

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone. I hope you enjoy my short story that is incredibly dark, even more  
> I honestly don't know why I wrote this, it just came to me and I felt like writing a guardian angel Tubbo who comes to rescue one of his closest friends. And also Niki is there to help Fundy get back on his feet  
> I may have already spoiled too much.  
> I hope you enjoy this short and bitter-sweet story and you are having a wonderful day <3

Noone noticed Floris leave the house.  
The cold winter air lashed against his face, as he made his way to his car.  
He got in and let himself sink into the old, worn-out seat.  
His fingers curled around the steering wheel and the last remains of warmth in his hands seemed to vanish.  
He took a deep breath, put the car in reverse and left the driveway.

He drove for a while, the roads were empty and the night was gloomy.  
It wasn’t one of those picturesque winter nights where the snow glistened in the moonshine and twinkled like the stars above.  
The air was thick and wet from a dense fog, and neither moon nor stars were visible.  
The old road took him away from town, away from people, away from everything.

After a while, it could’ve been 20 minutes or two hours, he arrived at the place he was thinking off.  
His old car rolled onto the gravel and the turned it off.  
As he got out there was nothing there. Nothing.  
No stars, no moon, no cities or villages, no cars, no people.  
Not a single source of light.  
Anything that could’ve been seen from such a remote place was swallowed by the fog.  
Indeed, Floris felt like the fog had swallowed him too.  
The cold, icy air seemed more like an icy slush than an actual gas.  
Every breath he took hurt his lungs, and his knees got shaky.  
He was so cold.  
He hadn’t brought a coat or even a jumper.  
The wind wasn’t as strong here, but the air was just as sharp in cutting into his skin, nose and eyes.  
It hurt.

His steps carried him away from the car until he felt the land rise slowly. He had been here a lot, so he knew exactly where he was heading.  
Only a few feet away from now, was a cliff. An earthquake had torn open the ground on this hill a few years back and he remembered hearing about several hikers who lost their footing on the unstable soil and plummeted to their deaths.  
He got to his knees, as his legs got weaker, he was just wearing a pair of shorts. The first ones he grabbed this night out of his closet.  
Everything hurt so much.

He crawled closer to the edge, as he began feeling weaker and weaker.  
He cursed, afraid that he wouldn’t make it. He had to. He wasn’t just gonna freeze to death here.  
He knew how long and painful that would be. He wanted to end it now.

Floris had never seen so much darkness. In fact, he had never seen so little.  
He didn’t bring a fleshlight or even his phone, so there was no way of seeing anything in this absolute abyss of darkness.  
He just closed his eyes, because they felt weak and tired and crawled further with them closed. It didn’t make a difference.

But it did. He suddenly, unexpectedly, saw a light. Through his closed eyelids. A light so bright, but not blinding, that it seemed to fill his entire body with strong, bright energy.  
Floris sat up and carefully, very slowly, opened his eyes.

There was a boy, sat on a tree stump, only a few feet away from him. He was shining so bright that he illuminated the entire forest.  
Floris could see the cliff, mere centimetres away from him. He had nearly made it. But he couldn’t go the final step without finding out who that boy was.  
Floris turned around and he could see his car down at the foot of the hill by the roadside.  
He looked back at the boy, who had stood up and walked over to Floris.

He was short, but his size was hard to tell from the angle Floris was looking at him.  
His dark hair was on the longer side and several longer strands fell into his face.  
His smile was soft on his round face, but Floris could have never told how old this boy was. He looked young, probably a teenager, but with a wisdom and maturity around his eyes he had never seen before.  
Because everything was so incredibly bright, he couldn’t make out the clothes the boy was wearing, but it looked like a long white gown, that hid most of his body behind an amorphous blob of light.  
When the boy got on his knees to talk to Floris, he could clearly see the wings.  
The boy had big, large angelic wings that would’ve spanned five or six meters if he had stretched them out.  
“Floris… don’t jump”, he said in his voice that was clear and pure as the sound of a bell but also the warmest, most soothing sound Floris had heard all his life.  
“Who are you?”, he said, as he slowly sat up. His arms and legs didn’t hurt anymore. He didn’t even feel the cold.

“My name is Toby and I am sorta your guardian angel. I can’t tell you the truth now, but please trust me”  
Floris didn’t know what to make of this. It was unbelievable, but after all, this boy had wings.  
“I will try to”  
The boy smiled a sad, soft smile before he took Floris hand and pulled him up until he was sitting comfortably.  
“The world is really unfair, Floris. I once was a boy like you… I was alone, depressed and I knew no hope. Just like you, I had no one to talk to, no one to trust, no one to help me… ever”  
Floris didn’t know what to respond. He felt like his mind was slowly, but surely, floating away on a soft cloud. Was the cold getting to him? Was he freezing to death right now and this was a hallucination?

“Toby… why are you here? If you were a boy like me… why are you an angel now?”  
“I made the mistake you were about to do right now, too. I decided to end it all. This is not the right way. You can always go back home and…”  
“I can’t”, Floris interrupted the angel. A year ago he would’ve started sobbing and crying at this point but he had long run out of tears to cry.  
“I have a very dangerous illness. The mortality rate is so high, you might call it terminal. If I don’t end it soon, I am doomed to years and years of suffering in a hospital, hooked up to machines as my life withers away, only to finally die slowly, empty and alone”  
Toby nodded. “So was I. Our fates are intertwined, Floris. Now that I am an angel, I could see your life. But not only yours, I saw your life a thousand times. There is an infinite amount of alternative realities in which you exist and in which I exist. And in each of every one of them we meet. Most of the time we become really, really close friends. And in this one… I fucked it up”  
Floris looked at Toby, and even tho he couldn’t possibly believe a single word the mysterious boy just said, it somehow, in a weird way, made sense to him.  
“I wish we could have been friends, Toby, but it’s too late. You’re dead now and I will be too, soon. That is if you let me. Please don’t make me go through years and years of suffering only for me to get defeated by this illness.

Toby looked him in the eye and then, he softly hugged Floris.  
He felt like a real body, but on the other hand, it was just warmth, like a ray of sunshine, a warm breeze of air brushing against him. It felt so good.  
Floris hadn’t hugged anyone in years.  
“You won’t die, Floris. I am your guardian angel now. And I know - trust me I know, because I have the cosmic vision now to do so, that you will be cured soon. Very soon. But you need to give the universe a chance. Give me a chance.  
“Are you sure?”, Floris said. “I lost the way to hope”  
Toby let go of him, so he could look back into the scared, sunken eyes of the broken boy in front of him.  
“I am sure, Floris. I will have enough hope for the both of us. Please don’t do it”

That’s when the cold came back.  
He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, but the cold came back, and it engulfed him so quickly, that his vision almost got black again. He couldn’t see Toby anymore. He couldn’t see the light anymore.  
He couldn’t feel the warmth that was radiating from him anymore.  
Everything hurt again. Well, the parts of his body he could still move and feel at least did hurt.  
“Toby! Toby!”, he screamed, when he suddenly felt it again.  
Toby’s warm hug. He heard the other boy crying, quietly, softly.  
“Toby, you came too late. I… I’m already freezing to death, aren’t I?”  
He could hear Toby say something, but he couldn’t understand it anymore.  
He wanted to scream but he had no voice anymore.  
There was nothing.  
The last thing he felt was Toby’s tight hug before everything was swallowed by darkness, cold and pain.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Floris opened his eyes, everything was so incredibly blindingly white that he had to close them immediately.  
He was lying somewhere a lot cosier than the frozen forest ground, but nothing made sense.  
He felt like everything was rotating around him, he had no sense of up and down. There was warmth and light and sounds he couldn’t quite make out, but they sounded vaguely like voices.  
He was dead. He knew. This was purgatory or heaven or whatever came after. Maybe he would become an angel, like Toby. At least the painful cold had left.

“He woke up. How are you doing, young man?”  
He took at least five minutes to open his eyes and realize that he was, in fact, very much not dead.  
He was in a hospital bed. Three people were standing around him.  
A young doctor and a nurse who were checking everything imaginable asked him how he felt and what parts of his body hurt.  
And also a young woman in a winter coat, her partially died hair messy and her looks slowly getting less and less worried.

“I should probably let her do the talking”, the young doctor explained after she had made sure that Floris, to her and his own surprise, hadn’t even lost a single limb in the cold out there.  
“I was driving home from a friend who lives back out here, but when I took the old forest road, I noticed your car by the side of the road, slid into the ditch. I knew something was wrong… I knew about the cliff in this area. So I drove to the side, got out of my car and saw…”, she paused, “I saw you on the hill. I used the torch of my phone to shine the way. I carried you to my car and drove to the hospital as quick as I could”  
Floris did not know what to say.  
“You saved my life”  
The young woman blushed and avoided to directly look at him. “Yeah… one could say that. No need to thank me”  
Floris was speechless. “What… what’s your name?”  
She smiled softly. “My name is Niki”  
“Thank you for saving my life Niki”

The next morning, Floris was feeling well enough to get out of bed and even have breakfast. He hadn’t eaten in days.  
In the afternoon he had the strong need to talk to someone, so he dialled Niki’s number. She had left it for him the night before in case anything happened or he needed to contact her for insurance business.  
“Floris… what’s going on? Is there a problem?”  
“Niki, I wanted to ask you… are you still in the area?”  
She paused. “Yeah… I took a room in the town since didn’t wanna leave that late and needed some sleep. I’m still here. What’s the issue?”  
Floris took a deep breath. “Please don’t take this weirdly. Would you like to come to the hospital and have a drink at the café later? This is not like a date thing or anything, I just wanted to… say thank you, I guess. And I need someone to talk”  
To his surprise, she said yes.

And they were sitting in the café, enjoying a hot cup of cocoa and a piece of pie, he opened up.  
“I have to tell you a secret, Niki. You probably already guessed it by how and where you found me… but last night I wanted to end my life on that cliff. Luckily, I didn’t jump… I hesitate. Of course… if you hadn’t shown up, it would have made no difference and I’d died either way. But because I hesitated you even had the chance to find me”  
Niki took a while to respond, but Floris didn’t blame her.  
“The doctors told me you were pretty sick and that’s why the cold hit you so hard. I… I figured… why you were there in the first place, yeah. I’m sorry if it’s offensive, but I really quickly got the feeling last night… that you weren’t a really happy person”  
“I am not, you’re right”, Floris admitted. “But thanks to you, I may have the chance to become one, right? I have nothing I miss from my past, but maybe… maybe this really is a chance to start new. Niki… can we be friends, please? You’re per default the nicest person I know”  
She smiled at him. “Of course we can be friends, Floris. Thank you… for opening up to me. But there is one more thing I should tell you. I lied to the doctors. I didn’t use my phone torch to find you”  
Floris didn’t know why, but the hairs in his neck stood up.  
“Floris there was a glowing orb of light floating a metre above your lifeless body. It shined like a beacon so I could find you” She took a deep breath. “It followed me until I had brought you to my car, Floris!”  
He was speechless. Could it be…?  
“Toby”, he said, smiling to himself.  
“You know… the last thing I remember is a glowing boy named Toby who said he was my guardian angel talking me out of killing myself. My last memory is him holding me as the cold slowly engulfed me. I… I figured… since I was freezing to death, I was hallucinating or something…”  
“You weren’t”, Niki said, and her eyes were filled with a mix of disbelief and awe.  
“Floris, I don’t know how, but Toby’s real. And somehow… he made me find you”  
Floris smiled to himself.  
He didn’t dream.  
Toby is real.


End file.
